Old Friends

On my mission to really make the most of life this year, I did two things that I have been meaning to do, for literally ages. I contacted an old friend. We've been out of touch for years and years, simply put because I did not put enough effort in to keep our friendship going. I approached her via email as it was the only thing I had. I was tentative, as I'm not one for rejection. But to my amazement she responded really quickly and now I fingers crossed, hope that we can renew our friendship.

I read somewhere recently that there is a theory that friends come and go, for a reason. That person who was your friend could have been there for 1 month or 15 years but the reason they leave your life is because that friendship has served its time and is not meant to be forever. I suppose when you look at relationships sometimes they are the same. I mean they are a type of friendship aren't they, but for various reasons, they can break down and you never hear from or see that person again (other than via social networking sites, which somehow seems an acceptable way to track people without having to actually speak or see them).

So maybe it is the same for friendships. BUT i disagree, I'm going against the grain here. I want to rekindle some of these friendships. I'm down with nostalgia and that but I want new memories. I think it works if you've changed a bit, keeps it fresh, but you need to have some of the "old you" and the "old them" there, otherwise you're two strangers trying to figure out whether you like each other. I have some hopes for this rekindled friendship. But then again, maybe this friend and I separated for a while because THAT was meant to be, maybe we are meant to be friends but we needed this break in our lives and now, when being back in touch, we will both be a little older and have things to discover and talk about. I hope so. Although I'm fully aware that with some people, the novelty of re-finding a friend can wear of and the constant enthusiastically expressed "oh we must meet up soon" soons drifts of and before you know if you're sat down one evening thinking "I wonder what DID happen to that friend again?".

I sort of think that if I put the effort into certain friends that I haven't previously, would I be making a seriously good friendship? Could I be missing out on a true friend instead of someone I occasionally surface chat with? Do we each have something to offer the other person, that we never realised before? Every friend could be someone important in your life, I do think that. So I wonder why some people I never get close to and others I find myself close to.

They say that you only ever have a handful of true friends in life, but maybe this is because we only put the effort into a few people. The ones that don't mind if we don't call them back for a few weeks, the ones who never feel like we've been away type thing. But what about the more sensitive souls.

I tell you the most fickle friendship confusion. WORKMATES. You think you are friends, you call yourselves friends, you hang out at work, you sometimes go for a drink or a night or, or maybe you don't. Maybe you get on so well at work, you forget about socialising outside of work. Because lets face it, no one is exactly the same at work as home. Maybe you'd get a shock on that person you consider a friend at work when they've had a bottle or 3 of something and start showing themselves for their true drunken selves! After all can you look someone you vaguely know in the eye knowing details about them? If you can walk away from that job and still stay in touch then you know you have a friend on your hand. If you never hear from them again, it was a case of good workmate, not good friend. I think I have possibly walked away from my last few jobs with a couple of "mates" but friends? Not really. These people, I can meet up with for a coffee or a meal, but do they know the in's and out's of my life and vice versa? Not really.
One job I had though, I would say all of us were close and we did socialise. We were all girls and it was just a bit of a bonding place. Since I left, I would say majority I keep in touch with, some know lots about me and others know which area i live in and thats about it. I think you can make some friends for life at your workplace, but majority not.

But despite all of the above, I intend to try to resurrect these friendships. I've got to schedule in enough time to really spend time for myself, as that was the issue last year. I was worn ragged going between friends family and relationship and it's just not good for the soul. But all the people I've let slip, I'll give them a call. But this time round, I'm going to be a bit cut-throat. If they don't pick up the phone to me AT ALL in return, then that is it. Bye bye. Because if I'm not in their thoughts, then they shouldn't be in mine. I do want friends who I care about and who care about me. Because that's what life should be about. NOT hanger ons, people who are half bothered about you. So yes, people I know will be divided into friends and mates and then I will know in my mind who is who and where I stand with everyone.