“If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't follow. I'd be at the bottom to catch them when they fall.”

I like this phrase, it perfectly sums me up and how I feel about my friends.

I also like this one:
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

Now that is a true one. You know yourself better than anyone else. Even when someone seems to know you, you are amazed by how they get you BUT, it is not new news to you, it is merely confirmation of what you already know about yourself (whether you are in denial about that is a whole different ball game really) spoken from a different mouth and perspective.It's quite fascinating how someone can understand you or see things so much from your point and indeed their point of view, that you feel altogether stronger and satisfied with your own opinion.

The terms gut instinct and inner conscience are very strong tools that a person can possess too. My gut instinct is slightly askew due to the fact that I have anxiety, the lines between the two can blur and mess each other up. So I might start acting on gut instinct but if that gets mixed up with my indecisive anxiety, who knows what the frick is going to eventually be going on in my mind. I'm not unstable I'm just different...

And sometimes you have this voice within you, that says the sensible or reckless thing that you want or need to hear, but you'll always have the nagging smaller voice at the back reminding you to come back to your senses and "do the right thing". That voice can sometimes be so small, that it is all to easy to squash it until it's out of hearing range.

And lately that smaller nagging voice is becoming louder in my head (I'm not talking about going cuckoo etc) but it is telling me to voice it's thoughts - my thoughts. Which, you know what- is a scary thing when you are all too used to hearing the voice in your head and that is as far as it goes. For example, I want to stand up to someone, or I want to say no and I don't want to do something BUT for the good of peace and happy happy happy, I do these things or I don't say those thoughts. It's not good for me, because I'm not able to express what I want. And sometimes you need to. Because everytime you give in to someone, are you ever going to get that kind of sacrifice back? It is important to be on a two way street in situations like these or run the risk of being walked over and playing by someone else's rules - because they can and will demand their way. It is important too to differentiate between being able to have the courage to say something valuable and learning to hold something back for the right reasons. By keeping the whole lot in, spinning around my head, I am simply in danger of blurting every single thought out. And not in a fluffy way, but in a straight to the point way. Danger danger, high voltage!

Anyway I do think that you have to have the confidence in yourself to be the best you can be. But don't expect to keep every friend that you had. That does not necessarily indicate cockiness, although this is a territory that many could easily find themselves thrown into, should the confidence reach new levels.


I find different friends give me different energies and because I have multiple personalities it sometimes feels, I crave many things from many different walks of lives. I am quite flexible and always keen to learn about something or someone and so many people I meet, I feel the need to keep them close. But not too close, because life guarantees you'll never quite get the balance right and there are so many selfish people in this world; such a sad but true fact, that you give too much and you'll get trampled on, don't give enough and you are probably trampling on someone.

Tough one, because how an earth can you get the balance? And this is just ME, the thinker. The tramplers are probably not even aware of such theories or trampling, so they will never even think to change or consider someone else.

I think too much...